What I've Learned To This Point

I've learned some things about myself this week. If you don't believe in spiritual warfare, STOP! You don't want to read the rest of this. If you do believe in it, but don't want to hear about my own battle, STOP! This is all about spiritual battles.

I am a weak and sad christian. I took the armor of God for granted and learned that I have a bunch of chinks and holes in mine. I came over here thinking that I would just open my mouth and the life of God would just spill out. That would be great except I haven't even been able to feel His presence here. At home, I just hear a song or go to church or read a book and the Father's speaking to me. But here-nothing. I started to freak out a little. Ok. A LOT. Did God not come with us? Had He sent us over here alone? How can I be expected to have vision for His people when I can't even have vision for my own life? I think it's really stupid to even consider making the move here if I can't hear what the Lord has to say about it. I found myself in the middle of a battle I never could have even imagined.

I have suffered from depression for most of my life (another story for another time), but haven't had to deal with it for over 3 years. It crept up on me this week and smacked me upside my tired, sick head. I just realized it yesterday-while I was getting over a terrible case of food poisoning. As if that wasn't enough, I have had an impossible time getting over jet lag. Given my lack of sleep schedule for the last 15 years (I work on call), you would think that jet lag would be a non-issue. Another misconception. This country is full of these little misconceptions. Needless to say, I haven't been able to get a handle on life this week.

I say all of this to illustrate how the enemy has just lambasted me this week. I thought I was prepared for this place, but the principalities of darkness were laying in wait-ready for me. He exploited every weak and exposed part of my very limited armor. Before we came, our family at home prayed for us and a dear friend made the statement that we should expect to encounter spirits that we had never seen or dealt with before. That was a good word. I should have remembered it. I certainly do now.

I've always told people that I am not a daily Bible reader. "That's just not me" I would say. That was incredibly stupid! Here, I have to plug myself in every chance I get. As I type, I am listening to Jake Hamilton and I appreciate the fact that my spirit is rising up in praise and worship to the Father. I'm learning. I've spent some time on my knees, my face, my feet, weeping and dancing before my Daddy. He has fought and won the battle against the spirits of this world, but I CANNOT walk in that victory until I learn to exist every moment in His presence.

I'm learning to walk with a heart that expects to experience the violent invasion of heaven into the earth. I'm learning that when you've spent time in the presence of our Glorious Father, you are never the same. You cannot be the same. There's a violence in my heart to see His Kingdom invade our reality. I've been marked by Him for a purpose-an eternal purpose. So have you. It doesn't matter if you know it or believe it. It's the reality of your existence and mine. We were created to advance His purpose and our reward is to sit at His feet in eternal worship.

Father, You are good! Thank you for making me for Your glory. Invade my space and rip my reality apart. Tear down the walls and let your glory walk in. Change our perception from this temporal existence to an eternal reality!

Rabbit Legs and Donkey Dumplings

What an incredible few days it has been. We got off the plane and we were immersed in strangeness. Trust me. If you have never been here, you've never seen anything like it. Neither have I. This city is a teir 2 city, meaning it is like a mid-sized city in the US. Think Oklahoma City, Kansas City, you get the picture. However, here, a mid-sized city has 5-10 million people. This city has 6 million. High-rise apartment buildings are going up everywhere. They can't build them fast enough. The population boom can be attributed to foreign companies setting up shop here. Many expatriates (non Chinese citizens) are coming in. Commerce is exploding and so is the city.

Yesterday, we had our first chance to meet with our entire new family here. I got to speak and it was just amazing. I can't begin to tell you how nervous I was. My voice shook and cracked. My heart was racing and my hands were cold and sweaty. It was almost like when I asked my wife to marry me. Yep. I was that nervous! How kind and gracious they were. Every week, there are more people than the week before. Last week, there were 35 people or so. Yesterday, we had 67!! I wasn't expecting such a large crowd. That might have had something to do with the nerves. After our fellowship, we went to a beautiful park and had a picnic and Easter egg hunt. It was cold and rainy, but a wonderful time.

Last night, we were treated to a dinner on the town and we got to experience a few of the local favorites: rabbit legs and donkey dumplings. They are exactly what they sound like. The dumplings are like the dumplings you get at a Chinese restaurant except these are stuffed with donkey meat. Let me tell you-they are delicious! You cannot even imagine.

Today, we took a road trip to the mountains about 3 hours north of the city in hopes of hiking. But, it was raining and cold by the time we got there. We had to turn around. The mountains are incredible. We couldn't see them very well because it was so foggy and hazy, but they are majestic. The thing about China is, unlike what we are used to, you can't just call ahead and find out weather and other information at the places you plan to visit. It's hit and miss. You might get there and the park is closed for maintenance or something. It's totally different than what we are used to.

I mentioned that it was hazy. That's because today is Tomb Sweeping Day. It's sort of like our Memorial Day. The Chinese burn "money" as a way to send their dead relatives money in the afterlife. Now imagine millions of people burning stacks of paper and then shooting off fireworks and you can see where today's smoggy conditions come from.

I'm going to try to post some pictures with my next entry. We haven't downloaded any onto the computer yet. Thank you all for your prayers and please continue to lift us up as we have some huge decisions to make in the next few days.

Overwhelmed

We have arrived in China. I have been all over the world, but I was not prepared for China. There are many reasons for this. One of them is the food. They don't waste one piece of an animal. The smells are strange and wonderful. The people are so kind. And, I am so lost. This place is so big. I am so small. Culture shock has set in. Heather is loving it because it brings back so many good memories of her childhood in the Philippines.

We have also been overwhelmed by the love and support from our family over here. We arrived to a full pantry of "American" snacks delivered by our many new friends here. Let me tell you, those snacks are a luxury over here. They are expensive. And we are so grateful that they honored us in this way. It's amazing to us that these 20 or so people have been praying for us for months. We just don't have words to describe the way they have honored us over and over again.

This is Easter Sunday-our first meeting with our new friends. I pray that the Spirit speaks through me this morning. I have preached before, but to be honest, it was 18 years ago and I simply used bits and pieces of other sermons I had heard. This is different. I pray for a fresh word from the spirit-one that is relevant to us here, in this place and time.

I must also mention that Heather and I feel the prayers of our family in Amarillo. We are deeply thankful that so many people love us and care so much for us. We are still processing everything and there are still so many things that we do not know. If not for these prayers and our Father responding in kind, we would be lost here.
But, this journey is not about me. It is about our risen Lord, a Father who cried tears over our condition and sent a huge piece of himself to be killed so that we could be redeemed. We are redeemed-repurchased after we sold ourselves to the enemy. We have hope. We have life. Let's celebrate. He is not dead. NO! HE IS ALIVE!!